Look. If you’re dismissing feminists who don’t express their anger in the “right way” for you? You’re automatically siding against them. I don’t care what bullshit reasoning you try to come up with to justify why you ignore feminists. The fact is that you’re doing it, and that means you’re supporting the status quo by default. Congratulations!
I’m still just hearing “Feminist’s anger at their experiences needs to be expressed in ways I find acceptable for me to acknowledge it.” Which is just bullshit. Feminists do not need your approval of how they deal with traumatic experiences, and your insistence that they do is just egotistical. It’s just reinforcing the patriarchal idea that women need to fit this model that society has of how they’re supposed to behave- they need to be polite and thoughtful and not at all rude and certainly not angry- not angry enough to be ugly, anyway. They can throw a cute little fit and stomp their feet, but at the end of the day we still need to be able to pat them on the head and tuck them away where we don’t have to think about them at all.
A person who ignores valid concerns because someone is upset is actually just a person who ignores valid concerns. A person who has decided that their feelings are more important than valid concerns. And that’s not someone who would fight alongside me, that’s someone who would hang around to fight as long as it was convenient for them, and is likely going to bail when things get hard. That’s not an ally, that’s a fucking fair weather friend, and I don’t see anything admirable in that.